Guilty gods

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(Source: lori096)

“ I hope you look for me in everyone you meet. ”

—    Because I Look For You (#206: February 27, 2014)

(Source: write2014, via sentimente-de-copil)

archive all of our memories like they matter,
like we mattered.
you and I both know the way a hurricane still destroys after
it is over.
you and I both know the way the phone rings when it isn’t ringing at all.

Tell me, do you remember?
do you remember the way my hands trembled?
do you remember the way my body slouched away from you when you
kissed me?
did it matter at all?

I took up painting after we parted and I don’t quite know how to tell you this,
but my self portrait looked like you
and I don’t know what this means,
but I know I will always be the one leaving from now on.

we can lose everyone in our lives and still relearn the way the bed feels…
cold.

If I cannot remember what my own hands feel like
what my hair smells like
what my eyes look like
how my thighs feel, clothed,
then who am I?
I was always yours.
I was always his.
I was always theirs.

I lost myself, but this time I am mine.

archive all of our memories like they matter,
like we mattered.
you and I both know the way a hurricane still destroys after
it is over.
you and I both know the way the phone rings when it isn’t ringing at all.

—    Amanda Helm, Loss of You, Loss of Self  (via amandaspoetry)

(via amandaspoetry)